


Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

by Eva



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Break Up, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-21
Updated: 2011-07-21
Packaged: 2017-10-21 14:54:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/226438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eva/pseuds/Eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Lestrade completely fails to break up with Mycroft Holmes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Lestrade took the stairs two at a time, cursing Sherlock for not answering his texts, and bounded through the open sitting room door to find--

Mycroft. Sitting across from Sherlock, the two of them glaring at each other in perfect silence--that is, until Lestrade arrived.

“Gabriel, hello,” Mycroft said, standing up and smiling.

Sherlock jumped up, too. “The double-murder in Bellingham. John, where’s my phone?”

John looked from Mycroft to Lestrade, mouthing ‘Gabriel’ to himself before saying brightly, “So, you two know each other?”

“We are dating,” Mycroft said in his usual smug way. John gaped.

“We are not,” Lestrade said quickly.

Mycroft frowned. “Gabriel.”

“Check your schedule,” Lestrade snapped.

Mycroft sighed and pulled out his Blackberry, scrolling through his daily schedule to find-- “Ah. I see we broke up at 9:12 this morning. The Laughlin Case, I presume?”

“You can’t have my cases reassigned!”

“It was too dangerous, Gabriel,” Mycroft tutted, typing away at the same time.

“Not to mention boring,” Sherlock cut in loudly.

Lestrade wheeled around to point at him. “Shut it, Sherlock! And don’t take his side!”

“But this one is so much more interesting!”

Mycroft added, “You are the only Detective Inspector who will work with my brother.”

“Don’t you dare team up against me!” Lestrade’s phone buzzed with a text from A, Mycroft’s personal assistant: Confirm schedule change this afternoon 17:15 make-up sex. “What-- No, I’m not confirming that!”

“Gabriel,” Mycroft sighed again, still typing furiously with his thumbs.

“I’m not confirming it!”

“Certainly not in my flat,” Sherlock added, looking revolted.

“5:15,” Lestrade snapped, “Not that it’s going to happen.”

“Excuse me, what’s not happening?” John asked.

“That would put you in the car.” Sherlock looked even more revolted. “Mycroft, that’s disgusting.”

“I believe the phrase is, don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it,” Mycroft said serenely, immensely smug.

“Oh, right,” John said, and sat back.

“It’s not going to happen!” Lestrade said again. His phone buzzed: Confirm 19:45 dinner date make-up sex to follow. “Dammit, Mycroft! No!”

“We could push it back as far as 8:30,” Mycroft said helpfully.

His phone buzzed again: Lestrade, don’t be an idiot. If you break up with him, he’ll start a war to keep from moping and traffic will be terrible. SH.

“Thank you for your input, Sherlock,” Lestrade said through gritted teeth.

“Don’t text him while he’s trying to break up with your brother,” John whispered reprovingly. “He’ll lose his concentration and Mycroft will have it all his way in no time.”

“Oi!”

Phone: Confirm revenge on Sherlock revoltingly sweet make-up embrace, dinner date at 19:45, make-up sex to follow.

Another buzz: Confirm revenge on John Watson crumbly biscuit left in sofa cushions.

Lestrade looked up at Mycroft, who held his gaze as he pressed the send button on his phone.

The message from Mycroft read: I sincerely apologise, and will add ‘do not have Gabriel’s cases reassigned’ to the list.

“Fine, yes, confirmed,” Lestrade sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, just needed to get this out of my head. Also I've decided I like Gabriel best for Lestrade's first name. Not beta-ed, not Brit-picked, not bothered.


End file.
